It’s that season… The one that comes every year when the snow is gone in Minnesota. The Season of White Legs. I haven’t gotten around to creating a bucket list yet. But if I had one, you can bet “tan legs” would be on mine. Every year I hope…wish…dream…and wonder if a miracle will surprise me and pigment will show up in my legs. Hasn’t happened in a real long time. Even when a farmer’s tan appears on my arms and face… My legs stay white. Pure white. Not even egg shell white. White legs are a constant in my Continue Reading
The Anchor Holds
The day started out pretty well. My Bible and prayer time in the morning was encouraging and meaningful. My exercising got done and I felt the results (ooftah). And then when I got into the day, I started … roaming. Wandering around the house. Up and down, room to room, opening and closing the fridge door, flipping through books, scrolling through my phone. There was work to be done, but my mind would not get focused. My thoughts felt like the little steel ball that flies around a pinball machine, hitting, bouncing, not sure where Continue Reading
Time for Something New?
On most days, it’s just a simple pair of workout leggings. You know. The spandex kind that I should never ever ever wear in public with a short top. The kind that holds everything in tight and you actually feel like there is no more fat to jiggle. That kind of simple leggings. But last Tuesday morning, those leggings became a little more than that. They were a statement to myself. You’ve probably heard that we’ve had a verrrrryy long winter here in Minnesota. And as I write this little note in mid-April, we’re waiting for another Continue Reading
When Life is Too Much
So. You know those moments when you look around you and wonder, “I didn’t think my life would look like this?” Those moments matter. Why? Because they offer the opportunity to realize you have strength you didn’t know you had. That “good” and joy and fulfillment can co-exist with messy. And God always shows up. My sisters and I are very grateful that we can work out our schedules so we can take turns staying with our mom. Her not-very- serious-yet dementia challenges still require us to be with her 24/7. And every once in a Continue Reading
Live Your Story Well
Wouldn’t it be cool if we each had a ghostwriter writing our life story? If all we had to do was wake up and follow the script that was written for us? The ideal day script filled with only happy scenes that tells us exactly what to do, where to go, what to wear, how to act, what to eat, who to see… you get the picture, right? But, nope. We write our own stories. We are the playwright, producer, stagehand, director, costume designer, and lead character in the story we write each day. (I think “costume designer” is the role that Continue Reading
Teardrops
Teardrops show up in different ways. Sometimes… They flow silently and gently down our cheeks and we’re unable to keep them behind our lids. They trickle without warning, letting us know that something is stirring within our spirit or soul. We can brush them away as easily as they slide. Sometimes... They mix with our mascara on the colored pillowcase. Too tired to remove our make-up, not caring about the stains we know we’ll have to wash out when things are calmer. Nobody sees these tears, do they? We muffle our cries Continue Reading
Cheerlessness Is Not Invited
And, although the way be cheerless, We will follow, calm and fearless. Really? Is this what I want my faith walk to look like? Cheerless? I don’t think so. I mean, that is just downright…sad. Those two lines from a hymn written in the 1700’s bug me. Can living a life of faith be hard? Yes. Can there be days of discouragement? Yes. But cheerless? No. Cheerless seems so hopeless. Despondent. Grumpy. I imagine people wearing grey clothes, heavy boots, plodding down a grey sidewalk on a grey day, with no smiles. No Continue Reading
Everybody Has a Secret
It was a birthday to remember. Celebrating all seven of my years on this earth, we drove to Fargo, ND to be on the Captain Jim show on KXJB TV. My sisters and I and a few girlfriends giggled and fussed and tried not to wrinkle our dresses as we drove the 52 miles to meet the man who was captain of the plywood ship, the Sink Knot. A regular part of the show was for Captain Jim to interview birthday boys and girls from the “ship.” I remember how excited it was to be on TV. When it was my turn as the birthday girl, he asked me about my Continue Reading
Do What It Says
There are times when I read something in the Bible and it’s as if the statement begins, “Dear Gaye, please read this carefully; it is written for you.” I love it when the phrases that follow that introduction remind me about God’s love for me. About His mercy and grace. His faithfulness. My heart is encouraged, and I breathe easier. I have the habit of brushing that page in The Good Book with my hand as I smile and think about those blessed promises in the beautiful words. And… There are times when the statement that begins, “Dear Continue Reading
My Teen Idols
Their pictures lined the wall of the narrow hallway with the blue carpet which led to the bathroom with the blue floral wallpaper. Images of cute, young heartthrobs, their pictures carefully cut out of teen magazines and taped onto colored construction paper which posed as frames. A shrine to those we puppy love crushed on. Bobby Sherman. Davy Jones. B. J. Thomas. David Cassidy. And the big one – Donny Osmond. {For those of you who have no idea who I’m referring to, think Justin Bieber heartthrob level without the cocky attitude Continue Reading
Checking My Heart
It was one of those mornings. My intentions were good, the desire was there, I was ready. Ready to study, consider, pray, prepare. Ready to talk to God about my joys and my messiness, share my gratitude and listen for direction. And yet, the distractions came like the thunder shouts outside. I heard mom in the other room and I got up to check on her. Then I got cold and wanted a blanket on my lap. Then I got too hot and had to crack open the window. Then I worried that the rain would dampen the sill. Then I remembered something to Continue Reading
Life is Good
Today...whatever comes my way... In the joy...God leaps and high-fives and brings the balloons. In the tears...He brings the Kleenex. In the sadness...He sits on the floor next to me and holds my hand. Life is not good because of the circumstances. Life is good because He is with me. We were never promised a life that didn't have the tough times. God never told us to expect lollipops, sunshine, and rainbows every single moment. He told us to expect Himself. To expect Him to show up and understand and care. That is Continue Reading
Living and Working Together
A little buzz of irritation showed up in the neighborhood last summer. The issue was lawncare. Good grief. Last spring a new family moved into the neighborhood, a couple blocks down the street from us. The yard was quickly filled with tricycles, kick balls, trucks, forgotten jackets, juice bottles, and a kiddie pool - a fun place for toddlers and little kids wanting to play outside. When I'd walk around the neighborhood in the evenings, I'd sometimes see a very tired mama mowing the lawn, navigating the play yard. The flowerbeds Continue Reading
Learning Who to Trust
Why do I think I have to do everything? By myself? With only a glance at what it might cost me? “I can do this…I can do this…I can do this…” And then I crumble. Because I can’t. I’ve been trying to look at how I work and live from an outsider’s perspective. How I strive to do everything I think is expected of me…on my own…without asking for guidance or help. Because…hmmmm… Because why? Why do I place so much importance on being self-sufficient? Strong. Capable. Why is it hard to ask for help? Why do I forget that God has Continue Reading
Miss Beadle – Behind Closed Doors
It's my 2016 favorite book in the pure entertainment and fun category. And it's a memoir. (That's my always favorite category.) Little House in the Hollywood Hills: A Bad Girl's Guide to Becoming Miss Beadle, Mary X, and Me by Charlotte Stewart. I remember Charlotte Stewart as Miss Beadle on Little House on the Prairie, and vaguely remember her as Betty Briggs from the Twin Peaks TV show. As Betty, she was the eternal optimist who wore a smiley face button to Laura Palmer's funeral. Miss Beadle was the delightful school marm that taught Continue Reading
Please Give Her…
Her cheeks were flushed, and her neck was covered with the red blotches that I knew all too well. Her name tag read “Renee – Trainee,” and I think the reindeer antlers she wore on her head made her feel even more self-conscious as she tried to figure out how to enter “no whip” on my hot chocolate order. Continue Reading
You Are Not Alone
I was tapping on the keyboard, considering the words and moments I had planned on sharing with you. But then the words stopped. And pictures began floating around in my brain, creating different words. My writing plans changed. From my heart… Continue Reading
Moments of Mutterings and Murmurs
Perhaps it was mom’s strawberry Glucerna spill in bed at 2:30 a.m. Or the looming project deadlines. Or that I’d stayed up too late watching tapings of the new season’s NCIS shows. Whatever the reason, I was tired. And grumpy. I was feeling extremely cynical. And it showed up in an ugly attitude. The target of my cynicism? TV’s female news anchors. I was tired of their standard, apparently prescribed, wardrobe and look: Solid colored, tight, sleeveless dresses. Tan legs that cross perfectly. Trendy jewelry. Five-inch heels. Continue Reading
Finding the New Rhythm
It was a you’ve got to be kidding me! moment. There were six of us. Six women who dreamed of tap dancing on Broadway. But knowing that was never going to happen, we had chosen a community dance class and were now gleefully tapping on a grade school stage. It was our recital. After nine weeks of stumbling, sweating, and fighting shin splints, this was our chance to show friends and family how quickly our feet could move. We had practiced. Hard. We had this. We wore snappy purple tails, purple top hats, purple cummerbunds, purple Continue Reading
I Took a Bad Detour
Oh my word. It happens so fast. In one moment I'm dancing around in My Happy Place (not literally though, because I've never really felt like dancing when things are great - I'm more of a high-fives in the air and whoo-hooing myself kind of girl), feeling good because everything seems to be under control. And then... I make a mistake. And within an hour I've been bumped from My Happy Place and bounced into the Place of Pity and Despair. And who did the bumping? Me. Myself. I. Good grief. Have you taken this trip? We can Continue Reading
Changing the Words
I love words. And I am tired of words. One reason for this weariness is that I’m finishing the writing on my next book, and everything I write sounds like blah, blah, blah. The bullies inside my head are not sending me feedback messages with smiley faces and pink hearts! (Oh, writing is so humbling!) I know this is part of the process…but ooftah. A bigger reason for this weariness, though, is because the world just seems to be filled with so many words. I watch the news, read the papers, check in on Facebook, and the words are Continue Reading
The Synch Swimmers
Yup. I’ve got the fever. Olympic fever. And I’m counting the days ‘til Rio. My favorite event? Synchronized swimming. I don’t think it even shows up in prime time – it’s not a big fan favorite – but watching those ladies swim in synch actually makes me...gleeful. I tried it once, you know. My friend Lynn and I decided we’d give it a shot. Good grief. Whatever were we thinking. We selected the hyped-up music, created a dazzling routine, donned the colorful swim caps, and performed for a group of friends in a hotel swimming Continue Reading
Asking for a John Deere
I learned it first in farming. Farmers and families coming together when the fields were ready for harvest and the rain was coming tomorrow as sure as the sun comes up. Trucks and combines moving across dusty gravel roads in single file and descending on someone’s farm to help them get their crop in. Then the John Deeres and Massey Fergusons caravanning to the next farm with ears tuned in to weather reports while turning on lights to break through the dusk and men and women in overalls praying for just a couple more hours. People Continue Reading
Losing Part of Tuesday
So then this happened. I had just finished my workout at the Y last week Tuesday. I called my sister from the lobby, and that’s the last normal thing I remember for a while. When I went into the locker room to get my gym bag, the room seemed to be tilted on its side. The lockers looked like they were toppling over. I couldn’t figure out where I was or what I was trying to do. But I recognized the locker number I usually stick my stuff in…and then I don’t remember what happened next. Piecing this crazy half-hour together with Continue Reading