When Life is Too Much

So. You know those moments when you look around you and wonder, “I didn’t think my life would look like this?”
Those moments matter.
Why? Because they offer the opportunity to realize you have strength you didn’t know you had. That “good” and joy and fulfillment can co-exist with messy. And God always shows up.

My sisters and I are very grateful that we can work out our schedules so we can take turns staying with our mom. Her not-very- serious-yet dementia challenges still require us to be with her 24/7. And every once in a while—usually during the after-midnight hours—I find myself lying on the trundle bed in her apartment in the dark, staring at the ceiling, and thinking, “This isn’t what I thought life would be like.”

Lean in a bit and let me whisper a secret into your ear …
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to do it anymore.

Those wishing moments usually come when I’m really tired. Or mom is having a tough day and I don’t know how to make things better for her. Or life’s responsibilities just get overwhelming.

Know what I mean?

Maybe your “How did I get here” moments are a result of financial messes. Or cancer. Or a spouse who left and isn’t coming back. Or you hate your job but need the money. Or you are here, but you want to be there. Or … you can fill in the blank. I think we’ve all had those moments when we just don’t want to do it anymore.

My tired friend, please remember this …
God knows exactly what your life looks like. He knows exactly how you are feeling. And He can provide exactly what you need to take the next step and keep going.

When those moments come, we have two choices:

  •  Whine and stomp our feet and shake our fists and shout into our pillow, “It’s just not fair!” OR
  •  Tell God about it. Life doesn’t feel fair AND we want to find the good He’s provided. Ask Him to give us the strength and hope to keep living fully.

One choice focuses on our miserable moments.
The other choice focuses on The One who can take us out of our misery.

Life doesn’t seem fair sometimes. AND life is good.

The situation that has turned your planned-out life on the top of its head is NOT bigger than the God who can get you back on our feet.

I love my mom. When I whisper that I wish my situation was different, I know that it has nothing to do with my mom. It has everything to do with what I’m focusing on. I am so, so, so grateful that we can spend this time with her. It’s right where I want to be. There is Joy, Hope, Peace, Laughter, and a gazillion wonderful moments in our situation.

In your overwhelmed, whispering moments, know that there are a whole bunch of us out here who know that feeling. Can you hear us cheering you on? “You’ve got this! Look for the good moments. Receive the strength and peace and hope that God has available for you right in this moment. You aren’t alone.”

“Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107: 8-9

Life is good.
It really, really is.
Let’s not miss it.


  1. Hi Gaye, both of my parents died in the last 7 years. I treasured every moment in the easiest days and the days before death. No regrets for hours poured in to time with them. Intense sadness- feeling like an orphan- when they died; grateful for my husband and dear friends. We also took care of my father-in-law for 5 1/2 years. He died at 98. No regrets. Giant waves of grief, which are diminishing slightly with passing days. Grateful for the free time. Grace to you. Kathleen Heger (Kathy Reedy)

  2. Oh, Kathy, you certainly understand all the emotions and responsibilities that go into taking care of our parents. It is a joy, isn’t it? Even when the frustration comes. Thank you for your note. What a gift you were to your parents and father-in-law. Blessings on your week.

You are Extraordinarily Significant!