It was one of those mornings. My intentions were good, the desire was there, I was ready. Ready to study, consider, pray, prepare. Ready to talk to God about my joys and my messiness, share my gratitude and listen for direction. And yet, the distractions came like the thunder shouts outside. I heard mom in the other room and I got up to check on her. Then I got cold and wanted a blanket on my lap. Then I got too hot and had to crack open the window. Then I worried that the rain would dampen the sill. Then I remembered something to Continue Reading
Life is Good
Today...whatever comes my way... In the joy...God leaps and high-fives and brings the balloons. In the tears...He brings the Kleenex. In the sadness...He sits on the floor next to me and holds my hand. Life is not good because of the circumstances. Life is good because He is with me. We were never promised a life that didn't have the tough times. God never told us to expect lollipops, sunshine, and rainbows every single moment. He told us to expect Himself. To expect Him to show up and understand and care. That is Continue Reading
Living and Working Together
A little buzz of irritation showed up in the neighborhood last summer. The issue was lawncare. Good grief. Last spring a new family moved into the neighborhood, a couple blocks down the street from us. The yard was quickly filled with tricycles, kick balls, trucks, forgotten jackets, juice bottles, and a kiddie pool - a fun place for toddlers and little kids wanting to play outside. When I'd walk around the neighborhood in the evenings, I'd sometimes see a very tired mama mowing the lawn, navigating the play yard. The flowerbeds Continue Reading
Reset for a Better Day
Ok. Let's review. (She says to herself first.) Here are phrases that do not show up in The Good Book. These words were never said by The Great Promise Keeper... You've got a big load of stuff to do today. Good luck with that. Sure wish today was over. It just keeps getting worse. You always mess up. Can't you just get your act together? You've been struggling with that situation for years. It's not going to change. It's never going to end, you know. Bad stuff happens. This is just a really bad day. And you haven't even gotten Continue Reading
My Cotton Candy Thoughts
My mind feels like a cotton candy machine. It’s going in circles, and as it spins, it collects more to-dos, deadlines, and random thoughts swirling inside it. My brain starts to feel sticky. Then I open my eyes and wake up. My alarm clock says it's a couple hours before my feet need to hit the ground running, but my heart and my head are wide awake. And my stomach feels like I just ate too much of that airy, sugary, nothing-healthy-in-it, cone of pink messiness. Sigh. There are many morning - most mornings - that I am excited Continue Reading
Learning Who to Trust
Why do I think I have to do everything? By myself? With only a glance at what it might cost me? “I can do this…I can do this…I can do this…” And then I crumble. Because I can’t. I’ve been trying to look at how I work and live from an outsider’s perspective. How I strive to do everything I think is expected of me…on my own…without asking for guidance or help. Because…hmmmm… Because why? Why do I place so much importance on being self-sufficient? Strong. Capable. Why is it hard to ask for help? Why do I forget that God has Continue Reading
Miss Beadle – Behind Closed Doors
It's my 2016 favorite book in the pure entertainment and fun category. And it's a memoir. (That's my always favorite category.) Little House in the Hollywood Hills: A Bad Girl's Guide to Becoming Miss Beadle, Mary X, and Me by Charlotte Stewart. I remember Charlotte Stewart as Miss Beadle on Little House on the Prairie, and vaguely remember her as Betty Briggs from the Twin Peaks TV show. As Betty, she was the eternal optimist who wore a smiley face button to Laura Palmer's funeral. Miss Beadle was the delightful school marm that taught Continue Reading
Messiness…Jesus…Peace
There was nothing remotely fancy about the place of Jesus’ birth. Stables are never voted “Cleanest place in the world to have a baby.” Wet, dirty straw. Snorting cattle and braying donkeys. No turned-down sheets on a bed; no little chocolate mint on the pillow. And you have to believe that Mary and Joseph would have loved a good, hot shower after a long, dusty, dirty road trip. Seems rather messy, doesn’t it? Continue Reading
Please Give Her…
Her cheeks were flushed, and her neck was covered with the red blotches that I knew all too well. Her name tag read “Renee – Trainee,” and I think the reindeer antlers she wore on her head made her feel even more self-conscious as she tried to figure out how to enter “no whip” on my hot chocolate order. Continue Reading
You Are Not Alone
I was tapping on the keyboard, considering the words and moments I had planned on sharing with you. But then the words stopped. And pictures began floating around in my brain, creating different words. My writing plans changed. From my heart… Continue Reading
Settling the Unsettled
So I had two dreams last night...weird ones. In the first dream, I was participating in a potato peeling contest. (Who even knew they existed!) The other contestants and I sat at long tables in a large conference room. We each had two potatoes, a peeler, and a bowl in front of us. When the guy up front shouted "Go!", we started peeling. Furiously. Continue Reading
Moments of Mutterings and Murmurs
Perhaps it was mom’s strawberry Glucerna spill in bed at 2:30 a.m. Or the looming project deadlines. Or that I’d stayed up too late watching tapings of the new season’s NCIS shows. Whatever the reason, I was tired. And grumpy. I was feeling extremely cynical. And it showed up in an ugly attitude. The target of my cynicism? TV’s female news anchors. I was tired of their standard, apparently prescribed, wardrobe and look: Solid colored, tight, sleeveless dresses. Tan legs that cross perfectly. Trendy jewelry. Five-inch heels. Continue Reading
Finding the New Rhythm
It was a you’ve got to be kidding me! moment. There were six of us. Six women who dreamed of tap dancing on Broadway. But knowing that was never going to happen, we had chosen a community dance class and were now gleefully tapping on a grade school stage. It was our recital. After nine weeks of stumbling, sweating, and fighting shin splints, this was our chance to show friends and family how quickly our feet could move. We had practiced. Hard. We had this. We wore snappy purple tails, purple top hats, purple cummerbunds, purple Continue Reading
I Took a Bad Detour
Oh my word. It happens so fast. In one moment I'm dancing around in My Happy Place (not literally though, because I've never really felt like dancing when things are great - I'm more of a high-fives in the air and whoo-hooing myself kind of girl), feeling good because everything seems to be under control. And then... I make a mistake. And within an hour I've been bumped from My Happy Place and bounced into the Place of Pity and Despair. And who did the bumping? Me. Myself. I. Good grief. Have you taken this trip? We can Continue Reading
Changing the Words
I love words. And I am tired of words. One reason for this weariness is that I’m finishing the writing on my next book, and everything I write sounds like blah, blah, blah. The bullies inside my head are not sending me feedback messages with smiley faces and pink hearts! (Oh, writing is so humbling!) I know this is part of the process…but ooftah. A bigger reason for this weariness, though, is because the world just seems to be filled with so many words. I watch the news, read the papers, check in on Facebook, and the words are Continue Reading
The Synch Swimmers
Yup. I’ve got the fever. Olympic fever. And I’m counting the days ‘til Rio. My favorite event? Synchronized swimming. I don’t think it even shows up in prime time – it’s not a big fan favorite – but watching those ladies swim in synch actually makes me...gleeful. I tried it once, you know. My friend Lynn and I decided we’d give it a shot. Good grief. Whatever were we thinking. We selected the hyped-up music, created a dazzling routine, donned the colorful swim caps, and performed for a group of friends in a hotel swimming Continue Reading
He’s Hovering
This is for those who are finding that Hope left with the April showers. For those who are discovering that the summer that is filled with ice cream cones and fresh rains and hot dogs and picnics is also the summer that reminds us that…nothing seems to change. We pray for miracles. For babies to get well. For spirited youth who are “finding themselves” to look in a different direction. For the job to come and the house to sell. For the hurt to stop. For the relationship to heal. We pray and ask and step out in obedience, and…nothing Continue Reading
Putting the Ink on Paper
I’ve been looking at the cursor on a blank page, wondering how to put into words what’s tossing like a salad in my brain. Let me give it a try… Sometimes I worry that my little notes here will seem trite, or too Pollyannaish. That skeptics will chuckle and their doubts will be affirmed rather than hearing an invitation to re-think or ponder God-things more deeply. That my own faith and lack of faith don’t have the credibility to talk about such important things like God and Grace and Forgiveness. At the same time, my heart wants Continue Reading
Asking for a John Deere
I learned it first in farming. Farmers and families coming together when the fields were ready for harvest and the rain was coming tomorrow as sure as the sun comes up. Trucks and combines moving across dusty gravel roads in single file and descending on someone’s farm to help them get their crop in. Then the John Deeres and Massey Fergusons caravanning to the next farm with ears tuned in to weather reports while turning on lights to break through the dusk and men and women in overalls praying for just a couple more hours. People Continue Reading
Losing Part of Tuesday
So then this happened. I had just finished my workout at the Y last week Tuesday. I called my sister from the lobby, and that’s the last normal thing I remember for a while. When I went into the locker room to get my gym bag, the room seemed to be tilted on its side. The lockers looked like they were toppling over. I couldn’t figure out where I was or what I was trying to do. But I recognized the locker number I usually stick my stuff in…and then I don’t remember what happened next. Piecing this crazy half-hour together with Continue Reading
Let’s Not Quit
Every single fiber in my body just wanted to quit. Abandon what I was doing. Walk away. It was my Senior Piano Recital in 1975. I had prepared for that event for years. Thousands of hours of practice. Scores of pages memorized and polished. I was ready to perform. But. I was terrified. Terrified of messing up. Forgetting. The recital was held in a beautiful church sanctuary in Crookston, Minnesota. I stood in the pastor’s study behind the altar, listening to my piano teacher introduce me. All I wanted to do was walk down the Continue Reading
Influence That Molds Us
It has all become so annoying. The yelling. The posturing. The intensity. Republicans. Democrats. Independents. And all of the media voices, PR folk, and political advisors. I wish they would Just. Stop. Yelling. It’s as if they each received a memo that said… The winner of the argument, debate, promo clips, etc. will be the person who speaks the loudest. Yells the most. Uses the most vocal intensity. And uses the most force when punctuating the air with hand gestures. It just all seems so wrong. And sad. Their Continue Reading
Hanging By One String
It was a freak accident. Twenty years ago. Our good friend, Patti, had just moved into an adorable townhouse that sat on the edge of a golf course. She was sitting in a lawn chair enjoying the summer sun when the you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up event happened. A golf ball hit very hard from somewhere on the green went way off course and landed… On her eye. The result? The eye was struck by such force that they had to remove everything inside the eye. They saved the retina and the cornea. But they implanted a lens, attaching it with Continue Reading
Putting Life Together Again
Who on earth thought this was a great little jingle to read to children? Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Really. It’s not cute. It’s scary. {I also have a problem with Little Jack Horner who sat in a corner intending to eat a whole pie. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and decided that eating a pie with his fingers made him a good boy. Good grief.} But back to Humpty Dumpty… We usually imagine Humpty Continue Reading
What I Can Do
There is something I can do. It hurts to watch the news, doesn’t it? The shootings. Grieving families. Unimaginable tragedy. How can this happen? The answers just don’t come. So what can I do? I don’t know what to do today about Colorado Springs, CO and San Bernardino, CA and Roseburg OR, and the list continues…and that’s only a few in just the U.S. But I do know what I can do in St. Paul, MN. I can show up with Grace. Every single day. With every single person. In every single situation. I can choose to live from a Continue Reading
