But as you cupped your hands around your face as you placed your forehead against the pane, you would have quickly seen that some of those rooms needed a bit of attention.
The Work Room was busy. Usually night and day. Client responsibilities and timelines; emails; reports; projects. This room was usually the priority room. Lots of activity here.
If you peered into the Prayer Room, you’d see well-intentioned plans, journals, and devotionals on the table. But the prayer chair in the corner hadn’t rocked for a while. It had been visited often, but sleep occurred more often in its comfy-cozy resting space than prayers. What you would have heard in this room was, “Please help me.” “What do I do next?” “How do we do this?” “I’m just so overwhelmed.”
The Play Room. The door had almost rusted shut since it hadn’t been opened for so long, and the light bulb was burned out. You probably couldn’t see much in there.
We have a new room – the Caretaking Room. You have to walk through the work room to see it. But if you squinted your eyes tight enough, you would see through into this beautiful room. But you wouldn’t see much conversation. You’d see My Mom doing well, wishing that I wouldn’t worry so much about work, herself feeling anxious about periodically taking my sisters and me away from our work.
The Steve and Gaye Room was a bit dusty. With all the time in the work room and caretaking room, this room didn’t get much attention. This room looked sad. Lonely.
And if you had peeked around the corner, down the hallway and into the very back, you would have found the Guilt Room. The room that was a constant reminder of all that was not getting done. And of the things that were not getting done well. The relationships that were missing out. The room that I seemed frequently drawn to.
We go through seasons in life, don’t we?
My summer was a season of…
Questions about my purpose
Isn’t it cartwheel joyful that seasons change?
What an amazing God to create seasons. Times of change.
Time to move to something else.
This fall is a season of…
Sometimes you just need to step back, don’t you? Instead of buying new curtains to make things look better, you need to rearrange furniture. Reshape how you use the space. And even knock out a wall or two.
I needed to do some deep cleaning.
So I did.
I usually work very well from a structured plan. A list of things to do and not to do.
But not this time.
I knew this was more about my soul than about goals.
My only plan was to create space for Steve and I to spend more time together, to be more fully present with My Mom, and to cut back on new work (in order to do the first two things).
So I committed to living differently and figuring it out as I went along.
I dreamed and thought and prayed about how I wanted the rooms in my soul to look.
And then I started taking baby steps.
I’m in the early weeks of soul flipping.
But there is already a lightness.
A reconnection to the God that I really do love so much.
And less work, more fun moments with Steve, and more time with mom instead of just taking care of mom.
I’m loving the Fall.
It’s a new season.
You’d see rooms in transition if you were to take another peek.
More to come.