I love colored notebooks. The cool, smooth feel of a clean sheet of white paper (narrow-ruled, not College-ruled), ready to be filled with words and different colors of ink. The size that fits neatly on a small clipboard making it easy to have on my lap in my early morning hours.
I love Planners that have calendars and lines to write on and inspirational quotes and dream spaces to fill and lots and lots of color. The ones that remind me how to be intentional and that help me live the life God has called me to live.
I love to dream. To plan. To consider “how.”
To note my observations. To write for clarity.
During the last couple weeks, I have carefully considered which notebook and Planner I want to use as part of my growing and learning and planning tools. The process of shopping and evaluating and selecting has been a happy place.
This process brought – seemingly overnight – a sudden sense of sadness. Hmmmm … why? Where did that come from? Good grief.
I realized …
As I scrolled through the different Planner options, listened to podcasts about creating a great life, watched the 3-minute videos of women talking about their goals and dreams and plans …
I started to feel old. (Good grief. I thought I was done dealing with this. I mean, really. Enough already!)
I was listening to women (really smart, great, talented, successful, amazing women) whose ages started with a number smaller than mine. (Mine starts with a 6 and has a 2 after it.) Their planning and dreaming had a very different feel than what was bubbling up inside of me.
It dawned on me …
I don’t want to focus only on goals.
I want to dream my dreams.
Yes, there are business and writing and speaking initiatives that I am defining and will accomplish this year. They are important.
But what my heart really wants is to take the dreams I’ve put on hold for too long, recapture the child-like awe and joy that comes with them, and make them happen.
I am reminded of what one of my favorite authors and podcasters says …
You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do?
You should go do them.
(Lara Casey, from her book “Make It Happen” and the “Cultivate Your Life” podcast)
Yes. My heart says yes.
And my heart also says I am not too old.
My dreams are really quite simple:
Play more piano.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up: do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
On February 21, 2018, I wrote these words next to those verses:
“I’m not too old.”
I am so glad I scrolled and considered and reviewed and contemplated the tools I want to use to hold me accountable and bring joy to my dreaming and planning process this year. Books and notebooks and planners and colored pens are what Steve calls my “cozy artifacts.”
And I am glad that God reminded me about what’s important to me as we enter a new year. It’s not what everyone else says I should do, it’s not about a “right” way, it’s not about rules, it’s not about January 1st.
It’s about continuing to understand what it means to become the person God has called me to be. And then actually becoming that person.
And that person is made up of goals and dreams.
I’m thinking I may Facebook post and video-snippet some of this journey. (I mean, who doesn’t what to hear a little Norwegian sometime, right? Ha!)
It will remind me that I’m doing what I love, and it will perhaps encourage you to breathe a breath of fresh air into your dreams.
It’s not too late.
Whenever you are reading this …
Today is the first day of your new year.
What dreams will come to life in your next 365 days?