Hi! If this is your first Thanksgiving here in our community of encouragement, welcome! I’m glad you’re here. And, if you’ve been here a while, this week’s note may have a familiar ring to it. It’s one of my most favorite things I’ve ever written, and the message is always timely. Sending it to you is an annual tradition. Blessings of gratitude to you, my friend.
❤️
It’s the guest many of us bring to Thanksgiving dinner.
The guest that can turn a beautiful get-together into a swirling chaos of frustrations, silent tears, and sour attitudes.
Expectations.
Yup. Expectations. The guest we invite that all too often lets us down. The guest that messes with our gathering.
We want the Norman Rockwell feast around the table with everyone using kind words, don’t we? Everyone is on time and helping. And our football team wins.
But…
The rolls get burned.
The turkey is dry.
Cousin Bobby sulks.
Aunt Mary speaks harsh zingers.
Half the group eats, burps, and heads for the couch.
And your football team leaves anything resembling skill in the locker room.
All you wanted was a nice get-together.
But what you got was a headache, hassles, and a sink full of dirty pots and pans.
Expectations showed up and let you down.
The event would have been more enjoyable if Expectations had been removed from the guest list.
Here’s what I’ve learned. And I bet you’ve come to realize it too…
At these important events and get-togethers, Expectations can mess with the party.
If we keep an idyllic picture of what the perfect day looks like as our vision and expectation, we will be disappointed.
Because life isn’t perfect.
People aren’t perfect.
And cranberries will sit forgotten in the fridge until you’re serving the pumpkin pie.
Besides, Everyone around your dinner table brought a kissin’-cousin of Expectations.
All the Expectations are similar, but different.
So…maybe…
We leave Expectations in the car and simply enjoy moments inside with family and friends.
It’s OK to set aside the messiness that bubbles up along with the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. Not every under-the-breath comment or complaint needs a response or reaction, right?
Not everyone is going to help with preparing the food, or serving the meal, or creating a delightfully engaging conversation around the table. That’s why it’s good to serve a little grace next to the butter dish. Slip in some patience between the salt and the pepper.
And when everyone’s Expectations start to collide into one big mess, you may want to add a big dollop of love to the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie.
These people in your life…
Look them in the eye.
Listen with both ears.
Think before you speak.
Serve second helpings of grace.
Lead with love.
Let the Expectations of a perfect event go.
Focus on the People.
Show up.
Laugh.
Hug.
Go with the flow.
Good-bye, Expectations.
Hello, People I Love.
