I Am Sorry

Heart drawn in snow - smallerI was talking to my sister while at the big box store, standing in front of the cell phones that can do everything but cook dinner, apologizing for what seemed to be the zillionth time that week.

She had called a few minutes earlier when I was feeling ignorant, overwhelmed, and so behind the technical times. I had been sharp and short. (And I’m not describing my appearance or height.)

I was explaining that I hadn’t slept much the night before and I was tired. And then I changed the word to weary. And like good sisters usually do, she said, That’s OK.

And I said, No, it’s not. It’s really not.

Being weary may be a reason for my impatience and selfishness, but it’s not an excuse. {Even the fact that shopping is #236 on my favorite things to do doesn’t make it a good reason to snap.}

We all have our moments, right? And ooftah. Some days or weeks just seem to have more of them. And with each “moment” I squirm and try to  rationalize my words or behavior so that I don’t have to apologize. {Why is it so hard to say I’m sorry?}

Do you know what I mean?

But the squirming doesn’t make the icky moment go away. It’s just much easier to say I’m sorry and get the relationship back to a peaceful place and keep living life. And it only takes a few moments to do that.

I am grateful for the grace that sisters and girlfriends and my mom and Steve demonstrate with their words, That’s OK. For accepting the apology. For looking at my heart.

Oh, in this December time of to-do lists, shopping, rehearsals, events, family get-togethers, busy-ness…

May I remember to extend that same grace to those I live with, work with, and love…

May I remember the two simple words that have the power to make any impatient, weary moment better…

I’m sorry.

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