A Cleanse That Works

Vegetables in brown bagI should have thought it through a bit more.
I guess they’re right (whoever “they” are)…
Hindsight is 20/20.

I had decided to do a cleanse.
You know, one of those eat vegetables and make juices so all your insides get refreshed kind of cleanses.

So I hauled 35 pounds of carrots, celery, parsley, cukes, and other green produce into our kitchen. Well, it wasn’t really 35 pounds…but it was a lot.  A whole lot.

And I began to get excited about the 35 pounds I would lose in exchange over the weekend. {Yes, my home address is sometimes 123 Fairytale Lane.}

Here’s what I didn’t think through…
A cleanse doesn’t allow you to eat chocolate or drink diet pepsi.
Silly me.
How did I miss that.

Well…the cleanse didn’t go all that well.
But not because of the no chocolate or diet pepsi.

It didn’t go well because it required me to be in the kitchen.
And that can make me break out in hives.

This cleanse that was supposed to get me all rejuvenated and refreshed and create clearer thinking got me all anxious and fretting around because I was cooking in the kitchen and that’s what happens when I’m cooking in the kitchen.

{Yes, I allow myself to say I’m cooking no matter what I’m fixing in the kitchen.  Chopping carrots? It’s cooking. Opening a can of vegetable barley soup?  It’s cooking. Taking the lid off Chipotle’s burrito bowl?  Cooking. I’m cooking just sounds so much more grown up than I’m opening a can of soup.  And I think it impresses – or gives hope – to my mother-in-law.}

That cleanse didn’t work.

But I’m working through one now that is.
A heart cleanse.

This Lenten season has really gotten me thinking about my faith journey.
Am I the person God has called me to be?
Do my decisions make Him smile?
Do I know Him? Really know Him?

It can become tooooo easy to live a Christ-follower life
when you’ve grown up in the church.
You just know the right things to say or do, right?
It’s habit. Routine.

Our intentions are good,
but somewhere along the journey we can lose sight of The Guide and His roadmap.
{I’m guessing…hoping…that someone just said, Yeah. I know what you mean.}

So this Lenten season I am really doing some cleansing work on my heart.
Skipping the 35 pounds of veggies and filling up on God’s Word.
Having conversations with Him that are real, sometimes heart-wrenching,
and always heart-changing.

It hasn’t been pretty all the time…I guess cleanses aren’t.
Because there’s yucky stuff that needs to be cleansed.

Like my unwillingness to trust…to let go of problems I’m still trying to fix, because I’m concerned that God may not handle them to my liking.
{Good heavens. Peel back that onion and there’ll be some tears.)

Like the realization that my faith journey is heading towards neutral. Nothing on the accelerator or brake…just coasting.

Like admitting that inconveniences are not always inconveniences…they are priorities and encounters and moments that God is placing right in my path…that deserve my full attention. Not my grumbling.

Psalm 51 is a landing page in The Good Book for me these mornings.

Create [as something new; which cannot emerge from what now is; and which only God can fashion] in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast [fixed or unchanging; firmly loyal or constant] spirit within me.

Care to join me in this cleanse?

God of compassion and forgiveness, hear my prayer this lenten season.
Grant me your grace and healing.
Give me the strength to be honest about my own shortcomings and sins.
Help me to renew my resolve to be a better person and start anew. Amen.
(From Matthew Kelly’s book, Rediscover Lent.)

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